“But I’m Not
Bitter”
By Lisa Boyer
“Get rid of all
bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of
malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as
in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:31-32
I
used to tell funny stories from my childhood but while telling some of them, I
could hear how my voice sounded, so I would end the story with “but I’m not
bitter!” - - trying to make light of the
fact that there was some bitterness still there. Over the years, God and I
worked through those things and I let go of the bitterness. Now I can tell
funny stories and they can just be funny.
But
it wasn’t so long ago that I couldn’t remember what bitter sounded like and the
other day, I heard it again and it made me wince. But this time it wasn’t in my
voice - - I heard it in my head.
I
was driving down the highway explaining a particular injustice to God (also
known as arguing with God, which I do not recommend) when I heard the
bitterness. Worse yet, I was bitter over something I wasn’t even sure happened.
I was bitter because of what I assume happened! I just didn’t know what to do
about it.
So
there I was driving down the highway, arguing with God and being bitter when I
heard a still, small voice (actually it was a loud voice - - it had to be loud
to be heard over the arguing), forgive.
I then proceeded to inform God how unfair that would be. If I forgave without
saying a word, wouldn’t they get away with what they did? Who is your bitterness hurting?
Aauuugghh!!! He was right. The only person I was hurting was myself. Not
to mention the whole “IF you forgive others” verse in the Bible.
So,
I did. I forgave. And possibly more importantly, I asked for forgiveness.
Suddenly, I felt free. I like the feeling of free.
I
know I made that sound so easy, but in reality, tears were involved (another
thing I don’t recommend while driving down the highway). Yes, I still think an
injustice has occurred, but I am so glad I’m not responsible for deciding that.
I’m only responsible for my actions, decisions, attitude and (of course)
response - - which is now forgiveness.
GOING DEEPER:
1. Have you been harboring bitterness against
someone deep in your heart? Today, will you, with God’s help, decide to forgive
them?
2. Without
judging, is there someone you can share this with so they can be free?
FURTHER READING:
Lisa
has been married to Ted for 20 years and they have two teenage sons. Lisa
administers Fresh Start’s Facebook and blog, and loves hanging out with and
impacting teenage girls for Christ.
