Jesus’ Love Language
By Elizabeth Cole
“If you love me, show
it by doing what I’ve told you.”
John 14:15 (The Message, paraphrase)
One of the more practical concepts I’ve
encountered through years of marriage studies has been the idea of love
languages. Author Gary Chapman writes about five different love languages, one
of which typically speaks love to us in a deeper, more effective way than the
others. Specifically, they are quality time, acts of service, physical touch,
receiving gifts, and words of affirmation. (1) I’ve found these so helpful in
identifying my husband’s primary love language, as well as that of my daughters
and girlfriends.
In terms of marriage, sometimes feeling a lack
of love is really a matter of one spouse trying to communicate love in a way
that isn’t all that important to the other. Here’s an example: A
spouse comes home from a business trip and, as an expression of love, decides to
throw in a quick load of laundry followed by straightening the kitchen followed
by changing a light bulb in the hallway followed by putting away the shoes that
are piled up by the back door….all while the other spouse is waiting on the
couch to catch up and talk about the trip. Speaking love through acts of
service when your spouse speaks the language of quality time can create some
real misunderstanding! At times, it’s that simple; other times, it’s more
complicated to discern a loved one’s primary love language.
Ever wonder what Jesus’ love language is? I’m
grateful that we don’t have to try to figure it out. Instead, He just comes
right out and says it: “If you love me, keep my commands” (NIV). Jesus’ love
language is obedience.
I’ve been thinking lately about how often I
want to speak a different kind of love language to Him…one of my own choosing.
Like quality ministry performance. Or a well-written presentation. Or programs
that run effectively. Make no mistake, these are perfectly fine things…with the
right motivation. But when I hold them out to Him as love, in place of doing
what He’s asked me to do…well, that’s another story. I’m definitely not
speaking His language…and I’m fooling myself to think otherwise.
My heart’s desire is that I authentically
express my love for Jesus more and more in terms of simple and trusting
obedience. That I speak love to Him in the deepest way…in His love language.
GOING DEEPER:
1. What “love languages” are you speaking to
Jesus in place of obedience? In what specific area of your life can you change
that?
FURTHER READING:
Elizabeth is a wife and mother of three grown
daughters. She is the Director of Connecting and of We Women at Oakwood Church.
