Yup...Still Hard
By Lexi Ellis
“The Lord is with me; I
will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?”
What can mere mortals do to me?”
Psalm 118:6 (NIV)
Recently, I came across a devo I
wrote four years ago. I wrote it after God clearly closed a door for a friend
and we were in the midst of waiting for a “window,” for Him to reveal His plan.
I wrestled with a reality that sometimes we simply don’t “get” what God is
doing. The timing doesn’t make sense, the answer isn’t clear, the unknown is
scary. I concluded we know He will reveal a window in His timing and our job is
to trust.
As I read the words I wrote, I
realized something: trusting God in the midst of an unknown hasn’t become any easier.
It’s not something I’ve mastered. It’s not something I think I’m better at now
compared to then. While the specifics of the circumstances are different,
there’s still really hard stuff that I or those I love go through. So two years
later, I see this devo I once wrote on trust and I’m left thinking I’m not so
great at that trust part. My response is, “Yup…still hard.”
I think that’s the point though.
Trust is something that’s never supposed to be mastered or ever “checked off
the list.” If it is, it’s a compliant relationship. In our wedding vows, my
husband and I promised to continually work on our marriage. Why would I then
ever expect there would be less work and investing that’s needed in my
relationship with God? In the same way, I pray my husband and I never “check
our marriage off the list” as something that doesn’t need active investment; my
relationship with God should never include hoping that I have this trust and
dependence thing figured out.
Trust is still hard…I don’t see it ever becoming
“easy.” Despite knowing that it will still be hard, the reality is we are not
alone. In a world of scary unknown - - though the specifics and circumstances differ
from time to time - - there is a greater reality that His faithfulness is
great! Fully trusting on God? Yup…still hard. And I think it’s a good thing it
is.
GOING
DEEPER:
1.
Take time to reflect: what’s your “trust level”?
2. What do you need to do to continually be
trusting in His faithfulness despite a hard circumstance?
FURTHER
READING:
Lexi and her
husband, Andrew, have an adorable puppy named Calvin. She teaches sixth grade
at Silver Lake Intermediate School. Lexi serves with Children’s Ministries and
is the Fresh Start Coordinator.
