Agree to Disagree
By Susan Klein
“One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers
every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.”
Romans 14:5 (NIV)
Have you ever had a major
disagreement with someone? One in which
you felt very strongly that your position was right, yet so did the other
person? Perhaps your position was even backed by Scripture, but the other
person’s was not. When do we exercise grace, and when do we take a purposeful
stand for the truth?
I had one of these encounters.
It was with someone who was raised with the same biblical beliefs as mine.
However, as we advanced in our life-journeys, the other person’s path took her
in a completely different direction. I felt the great deceiver, Satan, had her
believing a lie as she made a life-choice that I believed was contradictory to
God’s Word. My heart ached for her to be so blind-sided by this wrong belief that
our culture touted as right. She felt equally bad for me, feeling that I was
clinging to archaic beliefs, not being culturally relevant and accepting of her
choice. What transpired was not at all biblical: We argued.
Scripture is clear
that the Lord’s servants are to not take part in foolish quarrels or arguments.
Instead we are to gently instruct those who oppose God’s Word, so that the Holy
Spirit can convict them and lead them to a knowledge of the truth. [1] When I argued with my friend, we were each
trying to impose our own beliefs on the other, which was foolish and futile. Neither
of us was about to change our battle position. I am not her Holy Spirit and
cannot convict her of something she is not choosing to believe, especially when
I am argumentative instead of “gentle.”
So what might have
been, or still could be, a better solution when faced with similar
circumstances? Perhaps, when at an impasse, we need to agree to disagree. That
doesn’t mean I change my mind or my convictions. But it does mean that I won’t expect her to
change her choice based on my beliefs, and she won’t expect me to change my
beliefs based on her choice. We respectfully disagree, allowing the Holy Spirit
to work it out as He sees fit, in God’s perfect timing.
I have learned that
our battle is not with each other, but with the enemy - - the deceiver - -
Satan. (Eph. 6:12) And one of our greatest weapons in that
battle against him is prayer, out-loud
prayer that the enemy can hear.
GOING
DEEPER:
1. How might you avoid quarreling
with someone who believes a lie?
2. Are you
wielding your spiritual battle weapons?
FURTHER
READING:
Susan is married to Mark, and
has two adult children. She enjoys teaching Bible studies, writing, and
tutoring with the Literacy Council. She is a member of the Peace Team at
Oakwood and also co-leads a small group with her husband.
