Yup...Still Hard
By Lexi Ellis
“The Lord is with me; I
will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?”
What can mere mortals do to me?”
Psalm 118:6 (NIV)
Recently, I came across a devo I
wrote several years ago. I wrote it after God clearly closed a door for a
friend and we were in the midst of waiting for a “window,” for Him to reveal
His plan. I wrestled with a reality that sometimes we simply don’t “get” what
God is doing. The timing doesn’t make sense, the answer isn’t clear, the
unknown is scary. I concluded we know He will reveal a window in His timing and
our job is to trust.
As I read the words I wrote, I
realized something: trusting God in the midst of an unknown hasn’t become any
easier. It’s not something I’ve mastered. It’s not something I think I’m better
at now compared to then. While the specifics of the circumstances are
different, there’s still really hard stuff that I or those I love go through.
So two years later, I see this devo I once wrote on trust and I’m left thinking
I’m not so great at that trust part. My response is, “Yup…still hard.”
I think that’s the point though.
Trust is something that’s never supposed to be mastered or ever “checked off
the list.” If it is, it’s a compliant relationship. In our wedding vows, my
husband and I promised to continually work on our marriage. Why would I then
ever expect there would be less work and investing that’s needed in my
relationship with God? In the same way, I pray my husband and I never “check
our marriage off the list” as something that doesn’t need active investment; my
relationship with God should never include hoping that I have this trust and
dependence thing figured out.
Trust is still hard…I don’t see it ever becoming
“easy.” Despite knowing that it will still be hard, the reality is we are not
alone. In a world of scary unknown - - though the specifics and circumstances differ
from time to time - - there is a greater reality that His faithfulness is
great! Fully trusting on God? Yup…still hard. And I think it’s a good thing it
is.
GOING
DEEPER:
1.
Take time to reflect: what’s your “trust level”?
2. What do you need to do to continually be
trusting in His faithfulness despite a hard circumstance?
FURTHER
READING:
Lexi and her
husband, Andrew, have an adorable dog named Calvin. Lexi teaches sixth grade
Reading and Writing. She serves with Children’s Ministries and is the Fresh
Start Coordinator.
