Let Your “Yes” Be Yes
By Susan Klein
“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this
comes from the evil one.”
Matthew 5:37 (NIV, 1984)
“Do you solemnly
swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help
you God?” Even if you’ve never personally given a deposition in court, you’re likely
familiar with these words or some variation thereof. Most every television or movie
court scene begins with swearing in the witnesses. Once they respond “I do,”
they are expected to give accurate and honest answers to questions asked. The
court system enforces stiff penalties for perjury.
The key point Jesus
was making in the above verse was to be a person of integrity. Since God knows
everything we say anyway, we need not necessarily swear by Him. Jesus was
addressing people at the time who were abusing “oaths,” exhorting them to just tell the truth, all the time.
How often are we
quick to say “yes” when we might actually mean “no,” or even “I’m not sure”?
Have you ever responded affirmatively when asked to do something, and then
later changed your answer to “no”? Perhaps you’ve been on the receiving end of
a “Sure, I’d love to,” only to have the person back out or be a “no show.”
(“Ghosting” is a new corporate buzzword for people who don’t show up for
interviews or even work after saying they’d be there.) Of course, this excludes
unforeseeable legitimate excuses.
Sometimes, I think
we just get caught up in the moment and go with a “yes,” not wanting to hurt
the other person’s feelings with a “no.” But after carefully thinking it
through, we might realize it was a wrong choice. Once we’ve said “yes” to
someone, we should have the integrity to follow through. Even if something
better comes up, even if it causes us to have to make sacrifices, even if…
Marriage vows are
one form of oath we take. God and our spouse trust us to take our vows
seriously. Most of us do our best to earnestly keep them. But what about
simpler things like: saying “yes” to help with a project, agreeing to spend
time with a friend, offering to pray for someone… Should not our “yes,” truly mean
“yes”? Can people really rely on us to do what we’ve agreed to?
It’s okay to say “no,”
or even “I don’t know right now.” Sometimes, those are actually better answers.
Either way, Jesus is calling us to be people of integrity, and people that can
be trusted to give an honest response.
GOING DEEPER:
1. Are you a thoughtful/prayerful
responder or an emotional/impulsive responder?
2. How do you feel when someone
doesn’t honor their “yes”?
FURTHER
READING:
Susan is married to Mark, and
co-leads an in-home small group. She serves as a mentor to young women, and is
a member of Oakwood’s Peace Team, helping people work through conflict.
