The Lord, My Strength
By Peggy Kleckner
“The LORD is my strength and my
shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
Psalm 28:7a (NIV)
A few
years ago, I was invited to a birthday party. That sounds fun, even as an
adult, doesn’t it? Especially when it is for a dear friend who loves you,
and you know quite a few of the others who are invited. So why, on the day of
the party, was I feeling fear and anxiousness?
I had to
ask myself that question and let God answer it. He and I have been walking
together for some time now, and the review of my journey brought some
revelation. Years ago, a party meant drinking. While in that phase, I hid
behind alcohol. No one had to see the real me. Drinking gave me something
to do at the party, and whatever behavior someone didn’t like, I could blame on
the alcohol. Thankfully, I lived through that phase of my life, surely by His
grace. I have also hidden behind words. That may sound odd to you, but think
about it for a few minutes: Don’t you know people who talk incessantly? I
am one of those people. God has helped me to recognize that this has been a
defense. If I just keep talking about a topic of my choosing, no one can ask me
something I don’t know or about anything I don’t really want to discuss. It
also feels safer behind a great shield of words. However, this is surely
wearing on others and leaves the talker very lonely. Lonely, because we won’t
let anyone in to find the real us.
I have
even hidden behind my husband; he seems to be better at mingling. Perhaps he is
applying some of these defenses as well, but at least two feels safer than being
a one. Unfortunately, it was hunting season and he was not available.
My final
defense has been food. At least eating gives you something to do, something to
focus on. God has been dealing with this habit, as well. Spending the night on
a nonstop munch was not a choice that God would approve of.
Suffice
it to say, this was a test. Not a test for me to pass or fail, but one where
God could show me just how far He has brought me. The people were gracious, the
evening was delightful, and I accepted His strength in place of my former
addictive behaviors. May His name be praised.
“My heart
leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song.” Psalm 29:7b (NIV)
GOING
DEEPER:
1.
What situations make you anxious?
2.
Are you willing to trust God to lead you into new healthy behaviors?
FURTHER
READING:
Peggy
is a wife and mother of four adult children - - two sons and two stepsons, and
is an active encourager at Oakwood Church in Delafield.
