A Lost Art?
By Susan Klein
“A friend loves at all times…”
Proverbs 17:17a (NIV)
”I’m friends with
her on Facebook.” Though common to hear in today’s culture, I recently paused
to ponder this all-too-familiar response to my inquiry. How often is someone we
only know through social media considered to be a “friend”? If you were to view
my Facebook page, you’d see that I have over 200 “friends.” That couldn’t be
farther from the truth! I’ve never even met some of those people. Has social
networking (with over 200 sites to choose from…not counting dating sites)
caused some to redefine what a true friend is, and what it means to “practice
friendship”?
Gone are the days
when women friends gathered around a table to stitch a quilt together for the
bride-to-be as they spent much-valued time catching up on each other’s lives.
It’s no longer common practice to chat with our neighbors as we hang clothes on
the line or run down the street after dinner to check on a friend. No doubt, we
live in different times.
Friendship is truly
an art and, like any great masterpiece, must be diligently worked at. Though
times and trends may change, a true friend is still one who encourages, who
sharpens, and who actively loves another without conditions. A really good
friend knows how to set healthy boundaries, yet is not afraid to confront and hold
accountable, always looking to the friend’s best interest. These actions cannot
be accomplished by the stroke of a key or the swipe of a screen. Leaving a
short birthday wish on a social network site might be fine for someone who is
merely an acquaintance, but should it replace a card or phone call to someone
we hold dear? Should a “how are you?” text message replace an earnest phone
call to let someone know we care about them?
Social media definitely
has its place. Caring Bridge and Linked In are two wonderful vehicles for
sharing information with others. Even Facebook allows me to gather information
and see pictures of family and friends that live far away. Many blessings can
be gleaned through these technological means, but nothing can replace sharing a
cup of coffee and a good long chat with a precious friend, or a listening ear
and a word of advice when we are facing a tough decision. And, who would turn
down a hug and an encouraging word from someone on a really bad day?
Let’s keep the art
of practicing friendship the beautiful masterpiece that it was intended to be!
GOING
DEEPER:
1. Do you have any works of art that
have been neglected for awhile?
2. How
might you actively sharpen or encourage one of your friends?
FURTHER
READING:
Susan
is married to Mark, and co-leads an in-home small group. She serves as a mentor
to young women, and is a member of Oakwood’s Peace Team, helping people work
through conflict.
