The “C” Words
By
Susan Klein
“In
this world, you will have trouble.”
John
16:33
Conflict. Nobody enjoys it. In fact, most of us try
to avoid it at all costs. The same applies to confrontation. How many of us, when confronted with a conflict,
relish the thought of having a confrontation? However, as Jesus states in the
verse above, in this world - - it’s inevitable. Just about every book in the
Bible contains one conflict or another. Abraham had conflict with Lot, Moses
had conflict with the Israelites, the disciples had conflict with each
other…Let’s face it, we aren’t all created alike. We all have personality
differences that can potentially lead to conflict. So what’s a girl to do when
she’s faced with conflict?
Besides the obvious,
“pray,” I believe there are a few more tools we can hook to our belts to use
when dealing with a conflict. I like to call them the “3 G’s”: Glorify God, Gift others, and Grow to
be more like Jesus.
When a conflict with
another person presents itself, the first thing to do is to not
flee from it, but to check our own actions, to see if we are at fault in
any way. This brings glory to God. Then, Scriptures tells us (in Matthew 18)
that we are to confront the other
person, using words and actions filled with grace and love, which also brings
our Father glory. Gifting others can be accomplished by overlooking minor
offenses, speaking the truth in love when needed, or coming alongside a
non-believing offender to show them what Christ did to forgive us. And in every
conflict that our God allows, His desire is to conform us to the image of His
Son, to grow us into the godly women that He has designed for us to be.
Author John Maxwell
says we are to be like “velvet –covered bricks, not people pleasers or
bulldozers, strong on the inside but soft on the outside.” He says,
“Velvet-covered bricks are not afraid to deal with conflict in order to iron
out an unhealthy situation…they are peacemakers as opposed to
peacekeepers…remaining open to the perspective of others.” (1)
The rest of the
above verse states, “But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Christ’s
victory of overcoming the world and all its evil is also our joyful triumph to
claim. Remembering that our real conflict is not with
flesh and blood, but with the powers of this dark world (2), we can have joy in
our conflicts knowing He has endured all things before us, and has given us the
victory!
GOING DEEPER:
What proactive steps
can you take to become “strong on the inside, but soft on the outside” when
dealing with conflict?
FURTHER READING:
(1) Maxwell,
“Velvet-Covered Bricks,” (www.injoy.com/newsletters/leadership)
(2) Ephesians 6:12
Susan is a We Women Bible
Study Coordinator and one of its teachers. She and her husband Mark enjoy
tutoring and working with inner-city youth.
