I Didn’t Marry the Perfect Person
By
Lexi Ellis
“And
we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who
have been called according to His purpose.”
Romans
8:28
I accidentally freaked
out my husband. I was reading an article a friend had posted. Seeing the title
as he walked by, Andrew said, smiling, “Nine months in and you’re reading
that!”
The article was “You
Never Marry the Right Person” by Timothy Keller.[1] His premise is that our culture
believes in perfect soul mates - - ideal
companions - - and therefore love comes naturally, without work. Keller
suggests, rather, we must recognize and embrace our “messy-ness” and believe
it’s a beautiful thing. It’s “painful and yet so wonderful…because it is a
reflection of the Gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel
is: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe,
and at the very same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than
we ever dared hope.”
My husband is an
incredible man of God. He’s not perfect…I’m really
not perfect! If there’s anything
we’ve learned from others, it’s this: Marriage takes work, it takes investment.
And it’s one that’s incredibly worth it.
While marriage is a
unique relationship, we experience the reality of “un-perfect-ness” with other
relationships. My best friend, my sisters, my parents aren’t perfect. And yet,
I am so grateful for those relationships because through them, there are two
non-perfect parties striving to share God’s message and love like Jesus loved.
It’s the non-perfect
times that draw us closer in our relationships. My sisters and I have the
intimacy we do because we’ve been vulnerable with each other. Keller writes
that it’s the hard times that “drive us to experience more of this transforming
love of God.”
How powerful that God
uses selfish, self-serving people to accomplish incredible things! How
wonderful that we can approach the throne of God (because of what Christ did)
and come as we are![2] How awesome God can use un-perfect
us when we allow Him!
Keller writes, our “conviction
and repentance move us to cling to and rest in God’s mercy and grace.” Our
“un-perfect-ness” in our relationships means we desperately need our God. I’m
thankful for the reminder that God uses the mess in our relationships, and uses
that mess to compel us to relish in His mercy and grace.
I didn’t marry the
perfect person (neither did Andrew) and I’m so glad I didn’t.
GOING DEEPER:
1. How has God used “un-perfect-ness”
for His glory in your life?
2. Visit http://bible.org/illustration/god-can-use-us-all.
What biblical example do you relate to?
FURTHER READING:
[1]
Timothy Keller. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/27749-you-never-marry-the-right-person.
It’s an excerpt from his book, The
Meaning of Marriage.
[2]
A website of examples in Scripture of un-perfect people God used: http://bible.org/illustration/god-can-use-us-all
Lexi recently married Andrew, serves with Children’s Ministries at Oakwood, and is a fourth grade teacher at Lake Country Christian Academy.
