Grieving
By Peggy Kleckner
“Blessed are those
who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Matthew
5:4 (NIV)
Mourn: to feel or express sorrow for (something
regrettable); to grieve for (someone dead) [1]
My
heart is in a place of deep grieving. It is a remembered place: a place of
pain, heartache, anger, unanswered and unasked questions. It is like being on a
ship in the middle of the ocean on a dark and starless night with no hope for
navigation. It is a place of deep waiting. Waiting for dawn, waiting for
answers or directions, or instructions…waiting for Him.
It
is a remembered place for me because I have run from it before. I couldn’t or
wouldn’t endure it, so I buried it and ran back to life. This time, I must
wait.
It
is the cry of my heart to know Jesus. To know someone is to know his or her
pain and share in it. Best friends don’t run when life gets ugly, they come
alongside and walk with you in it.
My
heart knows that His Word is true and that He will not abandon me to my pain, but
rather will meet me in it. God’s Word says that Jesus is a man of sorrows and
acquainted with grief” (Isaiah
53:3). My Savior knows this remembered place well. He will meet me
here and I will know His heart more by walking this path with Him.
I
will not run. I will wait in this desolate place. This place where questions
and words have died away, emotions have been spent and I am bowed down in
worship. Clearly and surely recognizing that I am but dust. All pretenses have
been stripped from me. Self has been poured out and I am waiting. I am
beginning to understand that both the Father and the Son endured this painful
place in order to make the way home for me. In my grieving, I find them and our
hearts draw nearer.
I
have heard it said and found it to be true that our most intimate meetings with
Jesus are not on the Mount of Transfiguration; they are on Mount Calvary.
It is there His heart is revealed and I am comforted by His love poured out for
me.
To
refuse to grieve is to refuse to know His heart. I choose to grieve, for I am
finding that it is not a place of desolation, but of fullness. It is a place
that reveals the fullness of His love.
GOING DEEPER:
1. Have you ever buried your pain, rather than
endure the season of grieving?
2. Is there
someone near to you that needs you to walk with them through their season of
grief?
FURTHER READING:
[1]
Webster’s New World Dictionary
Peggy is a wife and
mother of four adult children - - two sons and two stepsons, and is an active
encourager at Oakwood
Church in Delafield.
