Yup...Still Hard
By Lexi Ellis
“The Lord is
with me; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?”
What can mere mortals do to me?”
Psalm
118:6 (NIV)
Recently,
I came across a devo I wrote two years ago. I wrote it after God clearly closed
a door for a friend and we were in the midst of waiting for a “window,” for Him
to reveal His plan. I wrestled with a reality that sometimes we simply don’t
“get” what God is doing. The timing doesn’t make sense, the answer isn’t clear,
the unknown is scary. I concluded we know He will reveal a window in His timing
and our job is to trust.
As
I read the words I wrote, I realized something: trusting God in the midst of an
unknown hasn’t become any easier. It’s not something I’ve mastered. It’s not
something I think I’m better at now compared to then. While the specifics of
the circumstances are different, there’s still really hard stuff that I or
those I love go through. So two years later, I see this devo I once wrote on
trust and I’m left thinking I’m not so great at that trust part. My response
is, “Yup…still hard.”
I
think that’s the point though. Trust is something that’s never supposed to be
mastered or ever “checked off the list.” If it is, it’s a compliant
relationship. In our wedding vows, my husband and I promised to continually
work on our marriage. Why would I then ever expect there would be less work and
investing that’s needed in my relationship with God? In the same way, I pray my
husband and I never “check our marriage off the list” as something that doesn’t
need active investment; my relationship with God should never include hoping
that I have this trust and dependence thing figured out.
Trust
is still hard…I don’t see it ever becoming “easy.” Despite knowing that it will
still be hard, the reality is we are not alone. In a world of scary unknown - -
though the specifics and circumstances differ from time to time - - there is a
greater reality that His faithfulness is great! Fully trusting on God?
Yup…still hard. And I think it’s a good thing it is.
GOING
DEEPER:
1. Take time to reflect: what’s your “trust
level”?
2. What do you need to do to continually be
trusting in His faithfulness despite a hard circumstance?
FURTHER
READING:
Lexi is married to
Andrew, serves with Oakwood’s Children’s Ministries, teaches at Lake Country
Christian Academy and is the Fresh Start Coordinator.
