I Didn’t Marry the
Perfect Person
By Lexi Ellis
By Lexi Ellis
“And
we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who
have been called according to His purpose.”
Romans
8:28 (NIV)
I accidentally freaked
out my husband a couple years ago. I was reading an article a friend had
posted. Seeing the title as he walked by, Andrew said, smiling, “Nine months in
and you’re reading that!”
The article was “You
Never Marry the Right Person” by Timothy Keller.[1] His
premise is that our culture believes in perfect soul mates - - ideal
companions - - and therefore love comes naturally, without work. Keller
suggests, rather, we must recognize and embrace our “messy-ness” and believe
it’s a beautiful thing. It’s “painful and yet so wonderful…because it is a
reflection of the Gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel
is: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe,
and at the very same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than
we ever dared hope.”
My husband is an
incredible man of God. He’s not perfect…I’m really not perfect! If there’s anything we’ve learned
from others, it’s this: Marriage takes work, it takes investment. And it’s one
that’s incredibly worth it.
While marriage is a
unique relationship, we experience the reality of “un-perfect-ness” with other
relationships. My best friend, my sisters, my parents aren’t perfect. And yet,
I am so grateful for those relationships because through them, there are two
non-perfect parties striving to share God’s message and love like Jesus loved.
It’s the non-perfect
times that draw us closer in our relationships. My sisters and I have the
intimacy we do because we’ve been vulnerable with each other. Keller writes
that it’s the hard times that “drive us to experience more of this transforming
love of God.”
How powerful that God
uses selfish, self-serving people to accomplish incredible things! How
wonderful that we can approach the throne of God (because of what Christ did)
and come as we are![2] How
awesome God can use un-perfect us when we allow Him!
Keller writes, our
“conviction and repentance move us to cling to and rest in God’s mercy and
grace.” Our “un-perfect-ness” in our relationships means we desperately need
our God. I’m thankful for the reminder that God uses the mess in our
relationships, and uses that mess to compel us to relish in His mercy and
grace.
I didn’t marry the
perfect person (neither did Andrew) and I’m so glad I didn’t.
GOING DEEPER:
1. How has God used
“un-perfect-ness” for His glory in your life?
2. Visit http://bible.org/illustration/god-can-use-us-all.
What biblical example do you relate to?
FURTHER READING:
[1] Timothy Keller. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/27749-you-never-marry-the-right-person.
It’s an excerpt from his book, The Meaning of Marriage.
[2] A website of examples in
Scripture of un-perfect people God used: http://bible.org/illustration/god-can-use-us-all
Lexi and her husband, Andrew, have an adorable puppy named Calvin. She teaches sixth grade at Silver Lake Intermediate School. She serves with Children’s Ministries at Oakwood and is the Fresh Start Coordinator.
