I Didn’t Marry the Perfect Person
By Lexi Ellis
By Lexi Ellis
“And we know that in all things God
works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His
purpose.”
I accidentally freaked out my husband a couple years ago. I was
reading an article a friend had posted. Seeing the title as he walked by,
Andrew said, smiling, “Nine months in and you’re reading that!”
The article was “You Never Marry the Right Person” by Timothy
Keller.[1] His premise is that our
culture believes in perfect soul mates - - ideal companions - - and
therefore love comes naturally, without work. Keller suggests, rather, we must
recognize and embrace our “messy-ness” and believe it’s a beautiful thing. It’s
“painful and yet so wonderful…because it is a reflection of the Gospel, which
is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel is: We are more sinful and flawed
in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, and at the very same time, we are
more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”
My husband is an incredible man of God. He’s not
perfect…I’m really not perfect! If there’s anything
we’ve learned from others, it’s this: Marriage takes work, it takes investment.
And it’s one that’s incredibly worth it.
While marriage is a unique relationship, we experience the
reality of “un-perfect-ness” with other relationships. My best friend, my
sisters, my parents aren’t perfect. And yet, I am so grateful for those
relationships because through them, there are two non-perfect parties striving
to share God’s message and love like Jesus loved.
It’s the non-perfect times that draw us closer in our
relationships. My sisters and I have the intimacy we do because we’ve been
vulnerable with each other. Keller writes that it’s the hard times that “drive
us to experience more of this transforming love of God.”
How powerful that God uses selfish, self-serving people to
accomplish incredible things! How wonderful that we can approach the throne of
God (because of what Christ did) and come as we are![2] How awesome God can use
un-perfect us when we allow Him!
Keller writes, our “conviction and repentance move us to cling
to and rest in God’s mercy and grace.” Our “un-perfect-ness” in our
relationships means we desperately need our God. I’m thankful for the reminder
that God uses the mess in our relationships, and uses that mess to compel us to
relish in His mercy and grace.
I didn’t marry the perfect person (neither did Andrew) and I’m
so glad I didn’t.
GOING DEEPER:
1. How has God used “un-perfect-ness” for His glory in your
life?
FURTHER READING:
[1] Timothy
Keller. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/27749-you-never-marry-the-right-person. It’s an excerpt from his book, The Meaning of Marriage.
[2] A website of
examples in Scripture of un-perfect people God used:http://bible.org/illustration/god-can-use-us-all
Lexi and her husband, Andrew, have an adorable dog named Calvin. Lexi teaches sixth grade Reading and Writing. She serves with Children’s Ministries and is the Fresh Start Coordinator.
