Marriage Tears
By Kelley Kuphall
Love the Lord
your God: with all your heart!
With all your
soul! With all your mind! With all your strength!
Deuteronomy 6:5 (NIV)
I was crying in church...before the
sermon even started. The husband on the video said his wife was his best friend
and she said that's how it started and that's how it will end. [1] I had
tears in my eyes, but I was able to hold them back from falling. Just like I
was holding everything back, even my heart to God's working.
Then my pastor [2] started
to preach, and his openness made me feel like he was talking to just us - - sitting in the 11th row. Everything
from the series was sinking in and the weight of my superego starting pouring
out. I was crying for my selfishness and sin. Crying for my friend’s marriage
ending in divorce and for our own marriage - - not entirely bad, but is it what God would
call “good”? How were we honoring God when we only aspire to glorify each
other? My heart was breaking for the things of God again. How can God take
something so ugly and make it beautiful?
I heard a quote that’s stuck with me:
“Love God the most and you will love each other more.” I have this hanging up
in our dining room, and yet, I forget about the “loving God” part. Of course I
love God. But more than my husband? More than myself? The series at church has
been driving home the truth that problems in a marriage are not just between
the husband and wife, but between each individual’s relationship with God.
We sang “Take it all, Take it all,
my life in your hands” and “All to Jesus I surrender” in the closing song. As I
sang, I asked myself: Do I really want Jesus to take it all? Can I really say I
surrender it all to Him? And that's when I had to ask for my husband's hanky. It
was that uncontrollable, shoulder-shaking, nose-sniffling cry that was probably
very evident to the rows behind us, but it felt so good to release my inner
struggles and give it to the One who not only created me, but created my life
and family. He knows the hurt and heartache, the old wounds and doubts. Why not
let Him heal it? I checked the box on our communication card that we would like
to speak to someone about our marriage. Let's be honest and vulnerable in our
Christian walk, so others can see Christ both working in and changing our lives.
GOING DEEPER:
1. Are you willing to surrender your
marriage to the Lord so that He can take it all and use it for His glory?
FURTHER READING:
Kelley’s a wife and mom who works
part-time at a Christian counseling clinic and has a personal direct sales
business. Kelley serves with Oakwood’s worship team and is the coordinator for
the HeartLove Place Birthday Cake ministry.
[1] Watch Ted and Judy’s story by clicking HERE.
[2] Roger Ellis, April 26, 2015: “Hitched: to Struggle.” Watch
the sermon by clicking HERE.
