The Anti-Proverbs
21:9 Girl
By Carolyn
Hulliberger
“A good woman is
hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.”
Proverbs 31:10 (The
Message)
Ever
read all of Proverbs 31? The woman described by King Solomon exhausts me just
reading about her. I concur with the theologically sound opinion that she is
likely fictional because she’s just too perfect!
However,
I recently read a blog on how important it is to NOT be the Proverbs 21:9
Woman. I didn’t know that verse offhand, and I have to say that this one nailed
my heart attitude because the woman in this proverb is like ME some days. Here’s what this little treasure says in
Scripture:
“Better to live
alone in a tumbledown shack
than share a mansion
with a nagging spouse.”
(Proverbs 21:9, The
Message)
Perhaps
you are chuckling, imagining Solomon in a fall-out with one of his 700 wives (1
Kings 11:3). I’m guessing he was working off of vast experience because he
repeats the exact same thought AGAIN in Proverbs 25:24!
Here’s
the point: There’s nothing wrong with contemplating the woman portrayed in
Proverbs 31. She is faithful, generous, wise, compassionate. But a little time
spent on how to NOT be the Proverbs 21:9 Woman is valuable as well. Think on
this a moment:
- Are the words your loved ones most recently heard argumentative or nagging?
- If someone overheard a typical conversation in your home, would it be an example you could be proud, or at least not ashamed, of?
- Are we encouraging the younger ladies in our lives to not be “mean girls” with their friends and classmates so that they don’t grow up to be “mean wives” and “mean moms”? (You know they’re out there…I’ve met them, too!)
So
what are we to do? We replace our Proverbs 21:9 attitude with Ephesians 4:29.
It says: “Do not let any unwholesome
talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up
according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” That sounds
like a much better plan!
GOING DEEPER:
1. Think of times when you struggle with harsh
words. What patterns or triggers need to
be removed or identified?
2. Make
yourself accountable! The buddy system
is great in holding each other accountable in the area of insensitive
speech. If a buddy isn’t available, try
a personal “fine.” Every time you find
yourself crossing the line with your words, put a dollar in a jar. Send the
dollars to your favorite charity.
FURTHER READING:
Along
with caring for her husband and two children, Carolyn works as an insurance
representative, serves in Oakwood Church’s Student Ministries with an awesome
group of junior high girls, and is the treasurer for Women’s Ministries.
