Jesus’
Love Language
By Elizabeth Cole
“If you love me,
show it by doing what I’ve told you.”
John
14:15 (The Message)
One
of the more practical concepts I’ve encountered through years of marriage
studies has been the idea of love languages. Author Gary Chapman writes about
five different love languages, one of which typically speaks love to us in a
deeper, more effective way than the others. Specifically, they are quality
time, acts of service, physical touch, receiving gifts, and words of
affirmation.(1) I’ve found these so helpful in identifying my
husband’s primary love language, as well as that of my daughters and
girlfriends.
In
terms of marriage, sometimes feeling a lack of love is really a matter of one
spouse trying to communicate love in a way that isn’t all that important to the
other. Here’s an example: A spouse comes
home from a business trip and, as an expression of love, decides to throw in a
quick load of laundry followed by straightening the kitchen followed by
changing a light bulb in the hallway followed by putting away the shoes that
are piled up by the back door….all while the other spouse is waiting on the
couch to catch up and talk about the trip. Speaking love through acts of
service when your spouse speaks the language of quality time can create some
real misunderstanding! At times, it’s that simple; other times, it’s more
complicated to discern a loved one’s primary love language.
Ever
wonder what Jesus’ love language is? I’m grateful that we don’t have to try to
figure it out. Instead, He just comes right out and says it: “If you love me,
keep my commands” (NIV). Jesus’ love language is obedience.
I’ve
been thinking lately about how often I want to speak a different kind of love
language to Him…one of my own choosing. Like quality ministry performance. Or a
well-written presentation. Or programs that run effectively. Make no mistake,
these are perfectly fine things…with the right motivation. But when I hold them
out to Him as love, in place of doing what He’s asked me to do…well, that’s
another story. I’m definitely not speaking His language…and I’m fooling myself
to think otherwise.
My
heart’s desire is that I authentically express my love for Jesus more and more
in terms of simple and trusting obedience. That I speak love to Him in the
deepest way…in His love language.
GOING
DEEPER:
1.
What “love languages” are you speaking to Jesus in place of obedience? In what
specific area of your life can you change that?
FURTHER
READING:
Elizabeth is a wife
and mother of three grown daughters. She is the Director of Connecting and of
We Women at Oakwood Church.
