Six
Months in the Pit
By Elin Henderson
“He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the
mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.”
I
am laden with a host of personal issues and weaknesses, but as a general rule,
insecurity is not one of them. So, when I took a sudden fall deep into the pit
of insecurity and remained there for almost six months, no one was more
surprised than I.
I’m
not sure what triggered it, but the Enemy used a series of personal
interactions to lead me to a tailspin of negative thoughts and self-doubt. It
was a dark and challenging time. From there on, I questioned the motive behind
every word that was spoken to me; the slightest negative comment sent me
spiraling into such darkness that I could not pull out. I began dreading any
interaction with people and started closing up inside.
But,
in the darkness, the doubt, deep in the
PIT, God met me. He spoke gently to me, taught me, and refined my heart in
deeper ways than I could have imagined. He gave me a glimpse into the lives and
hearts of those who suffer from ongoing insecurity. He opened the eyes of my
heart to see the negativity within, the ever-present sin of comparison, and my
desperate seeking for the approval of people.
The
Enemy’s goal was to use the pit to ruin me, but instead, God used the pit to
change and mold me. He didn’t abandon me; He sat with me and when the lessons
for that time were over, He climbed out, reached down and pulled me out,
setting me feet on solid ground!
Today,
if I venture to the edge and peer in, I will see that the “claw marks” are
still there in the mud to remind me of my self-attempts to climb out on my own.
But, if I look down at the edge, I will see the strong, secure footprints of
the Lord also forever etched in the mire and mud to remind me of how He reached
down and pulled me out. Yes, I left that pit behind a few months ago, but I
have erected a permanent marker there in my soul, so I will never forget.
GOING DEEPER:
1. Have
you ever fallen into the pit of insecurity? What are some ways that God
has pulled you out? What are some of the things that He taught
you?
2. Why
do you think that it is only when we have fallen into a pit like this that we
can appreciate solid ground again?
FURTHER READING:
Oakwood’s missionaries Elin
Henderson (a registered nurse) and her husband Phil serve as church planters
with Ethnos 360 in Mozambique, Africa.
Elin is mother to seventeen-year-old Callie and fifteen-year-old Elias.
