Jesus’
Love Language
By Elizabeth Cole
“If you love
me, show it by doing what I’ve told you.”
John 14:15 (The Message)
One of the more practical concepts
I’ve encountered through years of marriage studies has been the idea of love languages.
Author Gary Chapman writes about five different love languages, one of which
typically speaks love to us in a deeper, more effective way than the others. Specifically,
they are quality time, acts of service, physical touch, receiving gifts, and
words of affirmation. [1] I’ve
found these so helpful in identifying my husband’s primary love language, as
well as that of my daughters and girlfriends.
In terms of marriage, sometimes
feeling a lack of love is really a matter of one spouse trying to communicate
love in a way that isn’t all that important to the other. Here’s an example: A spouse comes home from a
business trip and, as an expression of love, decides to throw in a quick load
of laundry followed by straightening the kitchen followed by changing a light
bulb in the hallway followed by putting away the shoes that are piled up by the
back door….all while the other spouse is waiting on the couch to catch up and talk
about the trip. Speaking love through acts of service when your spouse speaks
the language of quality time can create some real misunderstanding! At times,
it’s that simple; other times, it’s more complicated to discern a loved one’s
primary love language.
Ever wonder what Jesus’ love
language is? I’m grateful that we don’t have to try to figure it out. Instead,
He just comes right out and says it: “If you love me, keep my commands” (NIV).
Jesus’ love language is obedience.
I’ve been thinking lately about how
often I want to speak a different kind of love language to Him…one of my own
choosing. Like quality ministry performance. Or a well-written presentation. Or
programs that run effectively. Make no mistake, these are perfectly fine
things…with the right motivation. But when I hold them out to Him as love, in place of doing what He’s asked me to do…well, that’s
another story. I’m definitely not speaking His language…and I’m fooling myself
to think otherwise.
My heart’s desire is that I
authentically express my love for Jesus more and more in terms of simple and
trusting obedience. That I speak love to Him in the deepest way…in His love
language.
GOING DEEPER:
1.
What “love languages” are you
speaking to Jesus in place of obedience? In what specific area of your life can
you change that?
FURTHER READING:
Elizabeth is a
wife with three grown daughters and two sons-in-law, and is the Director of
Connecting at Oakwood Church.
