F.T.O.

By Lexi Cole Ellis

 

“Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.”

Psalm 33:20-22 (ESV)

 

When our dog, Calvin, was a puppy he could be a little stubborn. After a long time of exercising, we’ll get home, I’ll feed him and he’ll clearly be tired. However, he’ll stubbornly want to stay awake “until Daddy gets home” and paces around the room tiredly. I’ll pick him up and hold him; he’ll resist a little as I force cuddle time. I’ll give him a chew toy and he’ll chew and blink, as he drifts asleep in my arms. We’ve started calling these “breaks” F.T.O. for “forced time-out.” Often, it’s been exactly what he needed. Though it’s a little bit harder now that Calvin is fifty pounds, I’ll still occasionally pick him up and hold him when it’s necessary. He’ll think about jumping away for a minute and then cuddle up, resting his head in my neck, eyes blinking until he falls asleep.

Sometimes, God puts us in a forced time-out because it’s what we need. Not as a punishment, not to be mean, but as to reveal to us a new way, because He knows best. F.T.O. might be an answer to prayer that says “wait” or “no.” F.T.O. might be a plan or timing we never could have dreamed up.

I think of a friend who recently received a “no” from God to plans she had made. Through the tears and “why’s,” she choose to trust that His forced time-out was exactly part of His plan and blessing for her life. What a privilege it has been to look back and see specific ways God was holding her during that time and how His F.T.O. was exactly what she needed. Only our God truly knows what’s for our best...often more so than we do. In the midst of our angst and pacing around, God sometimes picks us up and holds us, showing us His way is best.

When Calvin sometimes needs the forced time-out, I’m thankful for the reminder that we serve a God who has perfect plans for us...and lovingly holds us.

GOING DEEPER:

1. When has God used F.T.O. in your life? Is there a situation you can look back on and say “Yup, God’s way was better” or are there circumstances right now where God is calling you to trust His plan?
2. What truths do you know about the Lord that you can rely on today as you walk through change or unknown? (Want some ideas? Click on the further reading verses.)

 

FURTHER READING:

Psalm 18:30; Isaiah 40:21-31; Exodus 34:6-7 

Lexi’s family consists of her, her husband, Andrew, her daughter, Sloane, and her dog, Calvin. She teaches sixth grade Reading and Writing and serves with Children’s Ministries.

Choose Joy

By Karen D’Amore

 

“...whenever troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.

For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”

James 1:2 (NLT)

 

My affection for words has spurred a growing collection of jewelry inscribed with my favorite words. Aware of my collection and love of words, a friend recently gave me a necklace inscribed with the word “JOY.” Though I absolutely LOVE the necklace... “Joy” was not in my repertoire of favorite words.

 

Within the month following receipt of this beloved gift, the word “joy” began popping up everywhere. From random Facebook posts to songs, sermons, emails, billboards and Bible studies. I found myself immersed in a joy-themed arena. Initially, I didn’t give it much thought until the immersion transitioned into a ridiculous (almost comical) saturation. In hindsight, I should have recognized God’s presence in the “joy”-themed saturation. Was there a message to be gleaned? Was He preparing me for something?

 

I was wearing the “JOY” necklace when the trial struck. Fixating on the troubling circumstances, I re-hashed the details until the trial eventually stole my joy! Defeated, I chose seclusion and isolation. In the midst of that seclusion, God - - in His innate tenderness - - diverted my focus from my circumstances to His manifestations of tranquility. Just beyond my bedroom window, in the quiet of the soft falling snow, a herd of deer lay peacefully bedded down. As I was entranced by the embodiment of serenity, God used the distraction to uplift and encourage my aching heart. Moments later, I read a Facebook post with a wooden sign bearing the inscription... “Choose Joy!”

 

While I fixated on my joy-robbing circumstances, God reminded me of His goodness. In the verse above, Paul writes that trials could either become an obstacle or an “opportunity for great joy.” With my favorite word being “faith,” I was reminded trials are opportunities for faith-testing and endurance-growing. Once I stopped dwelling on my circumstances and meditated on God’s faith-building process, I worked to “Choose Joy!”

 

In this life we will face trials, each holding the potential to be joy-robbers or joy-growers... the choice is ours! Will you choose to worry or worship? The source on which we fixate influences our choices. “If there is any virtue and anything praise worthy - - meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8b, NASB). Let’s meditate on God’s praise worthy virtues and...“Choose JOY!”

 

            “Choosing JOY is being able to see God’s goodness even when life is hard and messy!” (1)

                                                                                                                       

GOING DEEPER:

1. What’s affecting your ability to be joyful?
2. Where’s your focus?

 

FURTHER READING:

Philippians 4:4; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18    

 

Married to Dan, Karen, a retired police officer, currently works as a Manicurist at Craig Berns Salon and a Foot Care Specialist at Shorehaven Senior Facility.

 

(1)  https://www.pinterest.com/pin/276689970831885542/

Not a “Ten”

By Susan Klein

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”

Ephesians 2:10 (NASB)

“There’s a link at the bottom of your receipt for a survey. We’d love it if you could give us a perfect score of 10!” The clerk rattled off her spiel with added enthusiasm as she finished bagging my items. I was slightly put off by her presumption that I’d give her a score of “perfect.” About to leave, I inquired, “Why is it so important that you get a 10?” Her reply startled me. Apparently, at this particular place of business, the ratings the employees receive on the surveys influence their pay increase at review time. It can even be a determining factor if they keep their job. I left feeling incredulous at the thought that my comments on a survey could have such a powerful influence on this young woman’s (whom I knew nothing about) future. I chose not to take the survey.

Living in a culture that embraces achievement, it’s no wonder people feel compelled to meet, as well as expect, such high standards in their work and personal lives. However, reality can put a quick end to this ideal as even the most seemingly-perfect individual, job, family…has flaws/imperfections. Constantly striving for “perfection” is not only detrimental to our well-being, it is not God’s desire for us. Let me repeat that, “it is not God’s desire for us to strive for perfection.”

God knows how He has designed each of us. He knows our strengths and weaknesses. He has created us for His purpose, to glorify Him. He may, and often does, use our weaknesses/flaws to accomplish His will, as evidenced by many examples of imperfect people throughout Scripture. While we all ought to strive to better ourselves, we must recognize and be comfortable with our own limitations. We must also seek to know and value God’s will and expectations for us over society’s standards. Besides, His sanctifying work in our lives is really what produces fruit, not our own strivings.

I’m not a perfect “10” at anything in particular, but I am “good” at many things. I definitely don’t want the stress of having to attain perfection. The only one whose approval rating I want is my heavenly Father’s. And, since He’s already equipped me to do exactly what He wants me to do, I am confident that it’s “good enough.”

Our goal should not be “perfection,” but, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

GOING DEEPER:

1. By what standards do you measure personal achievement/success?

2. Can “being flawed” and being “confident” coexist in your life?

FURTHER READING:

Philippians 1:6, 3:12, 4:12-13

Susan is married to Mark, and co-leads an in-home small group. She serves as a mentor to young women, and is a member of Oakwood’s Peace Team, helping people work through conflict.

Tangled Trees

By Elin Henderson

“…the genealogy of Jesus Christ the Son of David, the Son of Abraham…”

Matthew 1:1 (NKJV)

Let’s face it, most of our family trees are interesting sights to behold. There are some straight and lovely branches, and then there are the gnarled branches, and the ones you wish you could snap off and hide. Usually, our trees are a tangled mess of the good and the bad.

Jesus was no different than we when it comes to tangled family trees. On his mother’s side, there were more than a few gnarled branches. The first chapter of Matthew does a great job of listing out the key characters in Jesus’ family tree.

Among the many names there are a few that stand out. He had many upright and godly men in His tree: names like Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David and Solomon. Then there are the lesser known Uzziah and Jotham, both who “did what was right in the sight of the Lord” (II Kings 15:34).  BUT, there are a few shady characters as well. Do you remember Rahab? She was the prostitute (not the best career choice) who hid the Israelites who came to scout out Jericho. Next someone named Abijam. I Kings 15:3 says, “…he walked in all the sins of his fathers…his heart was not loyal to the LORD his God…” Then Ahaz, who was so bad, he made Abijam look good (II Kings 16:3)!! On and on it goes through the list - - some good, some bad.

Jesus truly had a controversial family tree. It was part of His identity, but He didn’t live in relation to that. He was a Branch that stood out among all the others. Jeremiah 23:5 calls Him the “Branch of Righteousness.” Why? He lined Himself up with a different point of reference: His Heavenly Father.

I find hope in Jesus’ tangled tree. It reminds me that my past does not dictate my future. Yes, there are some great things in my family tree, but you know, there are some pretty ugly things, as well. My hope and prayer is that as I look to Him, He will continue to make all things new in my life, including my branch of the family tree.

GOING DEEPER:                                             

1. As the holiday season has wrapped up, having brought relatives from far and wide to remind us of our tangled trees (!), what can we learn from the good and even the bad that make up our family trees?

2. How can we stand out as branches of righteousness in the midst of it all this new month…and throughout the year? 

                                                           

FURTHER READING:

Zechariah 3:8, 6:12; II Corinthians 5:17

Oakwood’s missionaries Elin Henderson (a registered nurse) and her husband Phil serve as church planters with Ethnos 360 in Mozambique, Africa.  Elin is mother to eighteen-year-old Callie and fifteen-year-old Elias.

The Ultimate 3-Legged Race

By Carolyn Hulliberger

“Haven’t you read?” he [Jesus] replied… “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Matthew 19:4-6 (NIV)

Almost 6 years ago, my husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. As I anticipated the day, I realized it would be 7,306 days!  There are a lot of words that I could use to describe our journey together, but one of my favorite analogies is that marriage is the ultimate 3-legged race. 

The race is voluntary. We don’t get to choose many factors in our lives, like our parents or birthplace. We do, however, get to choose our partner in this race.

The race takes cooperation. If you don’t lock step with each other, failure is all but guaranteed. The more binds around your legs, the easier it is to keep in step. Think of each life experience shared as a strand of rope. The more stories that are common to both of you, the more strands of rope are binding you to each other. Laughter, tears, triumph, hardship…they all count.

To run the race well, both partners must face the same direction. From finances to parenting to in-laws to where you will live, being on the same page and intentional about communication will keep you pointed ahead.

Unforgiveness is equal to sitting down on the field. Every marriage has its “stuff.” As the saying goes, I am a selfish sinner, and I married one, too. Then we produced children with the same problem. When we don’t take the time to deal with the “stuff,” our legs will strain against the bonds. The ropes that serve as the ties that bind us together instead turn into shackles.

There will be times during the race when one partner has to bolster the other with his or her arms. This may entail practically carrying our partners ahead as their own strength has waned. The vows say “for worse,” “for poorer,” “in sickness” for a reason. 

After racing together a long time, the reward is that you may nearly forget that the three legs used to be Four. The muscle memory will change; the movement becomes more second nature. And those bindings on the legs only work to seal the commitment to one another.

GOING DEEPER:

1. Plan an outing with your spouse, focusing just on each other. Even a conversation over burgers will do.

2. Play a game with conversation starters like “Favorite moment while we were dating,” or “Best holiday celebration together,” or “The time you were my strength.” You may be surprised by the answers when you share with each other.

FURTHER READING:

Hebrews 12:1-2

Carolyn acquired her racing partner in April 1993, complete with big hair and poofy dress sleeves (on her).  They look forward to matching their parents’ 40+ and 50+, and grandparents’ 60+ years of marriage.

Free

By Lexi Ellis

“With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.”
Romans 8:1-2 (The Message paraphrase)

Years later, I can still distinctively remember it…feeling hopeless and just staring at my laptop’s blank screen. Writing a paper wasn’t usually difficult. For a class, I had to analyze a societal message and its effects in my life. Originally, I had a researched, beautiful outline in which I wrote of my struggles with having a healthy relationship with food. It was a comfortable vulnerability, un-messy. And yet, my professor wanted me to re-do it. After lots of tears, I was convicted I needed to address issues beyond my simplified outline. I had to ask questions with unknown answers…or ones I might not like.

So after processing and praying, I approached the blank screen and wrote how my food issues were a coping mechanism for a simple reality: I struggle with self-hatred. It takes work to overcome a flood of critical, self-deprecating thoughts. But even after I learned the tools to help manage this, I felt guilty. For some reason, the guilt from struggling with self-hatred was worse than acknowledging the “food stuff.” Here I was with this struggle that seemed so stupid. It was terrifying to realize that acknowledging it through writing would force me to address it.

Part of the enormous beauty of the Cross is that Christ conquered guilt and shame. Paul writes that in Christ “there is no more condemnation.” A synonym is criticism. There is now no more criticism. What Christ has done for us (and our acceptance of His gift along with an ongoing relationship with Him) means we are free.

How powerful that He freed us from the bondage of hell and the bondage of guilt!  In John Bunyan’s classic Pilgrim’s Progress, the character Christian has been carrying a heavy, horrific burden. When he encounters freedom in Christ, this immense baggage drops, “loosed from off his shoulders, and fell from off his back, and began to tumble; and so continued to do…and I saw it no more.” [1]

While life doesn’t always get easier, we are free from shame. When life is hectic, it’s important to be aware the Cross also released us from guilt. I’m thankful that a blank screen caused me to recognize - - while it was hard to process how gripping that guilt was on my life - - I serve a bigger God who has freed me. 

GOING DEEPER:

1. What guilt/shame do you struggle with?

2. Take it to the Lord - - He has conquered guilt.

FURTHER READING:

Romans 8:1-4 (The Message paraphrase)

Lexi’s family consists of her, her husband, Andrew, her daughter, Sloane, and her dog, Calvin. She teaches sixth grade Reading and Writing and serves with Children’s Ministries.

[1] Bunyan, Pilgrim’s Progress, chapter 3 (http://www.learnthebible.org/c_p_pilgrims_progress_chapter_3.htm)

Stillness

By Peggy Kleckner

“He says, Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted in the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

What does God say? He says, “Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted in the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Dwell there for a minute. Let those words settle into you. Let them wash over the rocks of your worry, the boulders of your cares. Let them refresh your weary spirit. His words are life.

Take and eat. Let them nourish you.

Now, breathe in His life. Look into God’s heart. Sit down as you would with your closest and dearest friend. Put the phone away. Turn off the noise. Yes, this will take more than a moment. Just focus on the first two words, “be still.” Two words, two short words and yet this will take great effort on your part. Keep breathing. Let your worries down onto the floor for now. Let all the “have to’s” and the “but, I don’t have time” excuses go and give God this moment of stillness.  Step out of the fast waters of life by taking His hand and allowing Him to seat you beside Him.

Breathe deeply of His grace and His compassion; release yourself into His strong arms. Let stillness be a priority for this moment. Let it be your gift, your gift of obedience to Him. Let yourself relax in the stillness of His strong embrace. Trust that He is welcoming you with open arms and great joy at your gift.

When you begin to feel the pressures lessen, focus on the next phrase, “know that I am God.” To know is to “be well informed about, to be aware of, to be acquainted with, to be sure of” [1] Think through each of those definitions and ponder if you really “know” that He is God. Are you acknowledging His supremacy in your life? Are you spending time getting to know this God whom you serve or are you just following along? Are you busy doing for Him but setting little time aside to be with Him and hear His heart?

Stillness is a difficult practice it is very much against the tide of our culture, but we are called into it by God Himself, so most assuredly He enables us to do it. This week purposefully practice being still as your gift to Him. As you practice, continue to grow in your knowledge of Him. He delights in you.

GOING DEEPER:

1.  Will you commit to setting aside a few moments for stillness every day for this season of lent as a gift to God?

2.  In what way do you want to know God better?

FURTHER READING:

1 John 4:8; Joel 2:13; Philippians 1:6

Peggy is a wife and mother of four adult children - - two sons and two stepsons, and is an active encourager at Oakwood Church in Delafield.

[1] Webster’s New World Dictionary

Thirsty

By Elizabeth Cole

“ ‘…but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.’ ”

John 4:14 (NIV)

Imagine a young girl named Jill who wakes up after a terrifying experience, dull with grief and horribly thirsty. She becomes simultaneously aware of a gurgling stream and a huge Lion nearby:

“Are you thirsty?” said the Lion.

“I’m dying of thirst,” said Jill.

“Then drink,” said the Lion.

“May I - - could I - - would you mind going away while I do?” said Jill.

The Lion answered this only by a look and very low growl…

The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.

“Will you promise not to - - do anything to me, if I come?” said Jill.

“I make no promise,” said the Lion.

Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer…

“I daren’t come and drink,” said Jill.

“Then you will die of thirst,” said the Lion.

“Oh dear!” said Jill, coming another step nearer. “I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.”

“There is no other stream,” said the Lion. [1]

The invitation to come near…to drink of a singular life-giving water…to be changed. It’s a poignant moment when Jill is introduced to Aslan the Lion in The Silver Chair. 

Envision a not-so-young woman who finds herself dull with the ache of bad life-choices and horribly thirsty. She comes to a well and to a Man who engages her in conversation, knows everything about her disappointments and pain, and invites her to drink of a water like no other. A water that deeply satisfies, that brings ever-abundant springs of living water and life everlasting. The Scriptures show us that not only does she accept the Man’s invitation, she is changed (John 4:4-42).

What about you? Have you woken this day after another life-draining experience…dull with grief…aching from the life-choices that now rule you? Or are you flat-lined, simply and completely parched to your very bones? Listen for its echoes as you long for a delicious rippling stream for your soul. He is here.

Jesus invites you to come, “to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.” There is no other stream...it is He whom you long for. Come and be changed. Come and drink deeply. Come and be satisfied.

GOING DEEPER:

1.  Where are you in your spiritual quest for soul-satisfying water?

2.  If you know Jesus, how are you drinking deeply of Him today? If you don’t, what would one step closer look like?

FURTHER READING:

John 7:37-38; Revelation 7:17, Revelation 21:6

[1] C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair (New York: HarperCollins), 20-21.

Elizabeth is a wife with three grown daughters and two sons-in-law, and is the Director of Connecting at Oakwood Church.

Take Off Your Shoes

By Elin Henderson

“…Take off your sandals for you are standing on holy ground“

 Exodus 3:5b (NLT)

One of the things I got used to quickly living among the Mwinika people here in Mozambique was the need to remove my shoes when sitting down on their mats. When you arrive for a visit, a woven mat is quickly set out, you remove your shoes and sit down. It’s not so much that the mats are so clean or dirt free, but it’s an act of respect. I also learned quickly that flip flops are the way to go. Dealing with a bunch of ties, buckles or Velcro every time, is just a pain!          

Here in Exodus we find Moses being told by the Lord to take off his shoes because the land he was standing on was holy. It wasn’t that the land itself was anything special, it was just an ordinary piece of land, but the presence of God made it holy.

Sometimes we need to be reminded of the presence of God turning the ordinary piece of land on which we are standing into a holy place. We aren’t alone; God is there with us. Wherever we find ourselves, whatever struggle might be upon us, whatever challenge lies before us, God brings His presence to that piece of land and makes it holy. We don’t stand alone!

In order to remind ourselves of this, maybe we need to start taking off our shoes more often. It’s a good way to remember that God’s presence is there with us. Of course depending on where you are, you might have to do a little explaining as to this odd behavior.

So, the next time you are feeling overwhelmed and all alone, kick off your shoes and remind yourself: the ordinary ground you are standing on is holy because God is standing there with you!

              

FURTHER READING:

Psalms 37:7; Psalms 21:6; Psalms 139:7-12

Oakwood’s missionaries Elin Henderson (a registered nurse) and her husband Phil serve as church planters with Ethnos 360 in Mozambique, Africa.  Elin is mother to eighteen-year-old Callie and fifteen-year-old Elias.

We Don’t Have To Have All the Answers

By Susan Klein

“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”

Proverbs 17:28 (NIV)

Usually when I need an example of perseverance through trial, I go to the book of Job. Here was a blameless and upright man who suffered extreme personal loss, while also enduring ridicule and shame by those who supposedly loved him the most. Yet, while he is the model of perseverance, I’ve come to learn another lesson from Job that I want to emulate: “I don’t need to have all the answers.”

After his period of grieving, Job’s friends started to pummel him with questions as to why God would allow such a travesty to occur to such a godly man. For awhile, Job accepts his lot, defending his Creator to those who are making accusations. But, eventually his despair gets the better of him and Job starts to question God as well. “What did I do to deserve this? Why have you made me your target?” (paraphrased from chapter 7)

Eventually, we read that God speaks. He’s heard enough of accusations and questioning from Job and his friends. Beginning in chapter 38, He reminds Job that He alone is God, Creator of all, and He decides what will happen to whom. Job does not know the things that God knows and has no business questioning His ways. After being rebuked, Job replies, “I am unworthy - - how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer - - twice, but I will say no more” (Job 40:4-5, NIV). Job got the message.

Similarly, who am I to question what God is doing in my life or in the life of someone else? Why do we always feel the need to have answers or know the reason for our plight? Is that walking by faith or by sight? Jesus reminds us in Matthew 5:45 that God causes His sun to rise on the good and the evil, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. No one is exempt from trials, and no one has the answers to all of life’s questions. No one, except God.

Like Job’s friends, when others begin to question God, we should not join in on the questioning nor should we always strive to have an answer for them, other than: “Our God is in Heaven; He does whatever pleases Him” (Psalm 115:3, NIV). We don’t need to know, we just need to trust!

GOING DEEPER:

1. What questions might you have that seem to be going unanswered? Are you willing to let them go, and “just trust”?

2.  Spend some time with the Creator and marvel at His sovereignty.

FURTHER READING:

Psalm 135:5-6;Acts 17:24-26 ; Romans 9:14-18

Susan is married to Mark, and co-leads an in-home small group. She serves as a mentor to young women, and is a member of Oakwood’s Peace Team, helping people work through conflict.

The Greater Truth
By Lisa Boyer

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8:32 (NIV)

I am the type of person who likes to know the truth, well, most of the time… I’ve been told some truths that I wish I hadn’t known; the kind that can really devastate a person.

Maybe you’ve been told one of those truths, too. Like when a loved says those dreaded words, “I just don’t love you anymore,” or when the company you’ve invested years in says, “We don’t need you anymore,” or when a mother reveals to her child, “I never wanted you; you were an accident.”

Those aren’t the kind of truths that set you free. Those truths burden you with their knowledge. Those truths leave you hurting deeply, even crushed.

This is when it’s time to hear the greater truth - - the “capital-T” Truth found in Jesus - - the truth that really does set you free.

…That person may not love you anymore, but Jesus loves you so much He died to have a relationship with you (Romans 5:8).

…Losing that job may have left you feeling useless, but God has work ready for you to do (Ephesians 2:10).

…Your mom may not have wanted you, but God wanted you and planned for you and designed you (Psalm 139).

Some truths can damage our hearts, but focusing on the truth of Jesus Christ, and all He is and does, allows the healing process to begin so we can know Him and be set free.

GOING DEEPER:
1. Have you been hurt by others’ truth? Will you go to Christ today for His greater truth and apply it to your hurting heart?

FURTHER READING:
John 17:17; I Timothy 2:3, 4

Lisa is married to Ted and they have two adult sons. Lisa serves on a Sunday morning Welcoming Team at Oakwood.