Shutting Up
By Tracy Smith
“To answer before listening - -
that is folly and shame.”
that is folly and shame.”
Proverbs 18:13 (NIV)
Have you ever been listening to a
sermon when a phrase just slams you right between the eyes? That recently
happened to me when we had a guest speaker at our church. He is a missionary
with a First Nation group in Canada. The statement that slammed me right
between the eyes was this, “Sometimes Christians need to learn the fine art of
shutting up.”
Context is everything right?! This
statement was made in the context of people hearing but not listening.
There have been a lot of misunderstandings and miscommunications over the years
due to missionaries hearing, but not truly listening to what the First Nation
people were saying.
You know you are doing this when you
are formulating your reply to someone while they are still speaking. If you are
doing this, how can you be truly listening? This also happens when you have a
preconceived idea about why someone does something a certain way and you’re not
willing to listen to their explanation.
Instead, you continue to hold on to what you believe.
In this missionary’s work, he had to
learn to listen and learn the “whys”
of certain things within this people’s culture. An example of this was that the
word “sin” would automatically bring up conversational barriers. It’s really
hard to explain Jesus and what he did for us without using the word “sin”;
however, insisting on using that specific word wasn’t working at all.
Whenever this missionary used the
word “sin,” people would shut down.
After listening and learning about these people, he heard their deep,
cultural hurts of the past associated with the misuse of that word. He realized he was never going to be able to
use the word “sin.”
Using this new knowledge along with
awareness of their culture, he then started using the words “disrespect of God/The
Creator” instead of the word “sin.” The
message is exactly the same, but the word choice keeps barriers down and people
listening. His willingness to listen and
learn from them has broken down barriers and allowed him to share about Jesus
with them.
I have to believe that if there are
barriers up between another person and myself, maybe practicing “the fine art
of shutting up,” - - while listening and learning, can help break down some of
those barriers and allow me to communicate more clearly - - and lovingly.
GOING
DEEPER:
- Do you feel that there is a barrier between
you and someone else? Are you
willing to listen better in order to bring down the barrier?
FURTHER
READING:
Along with being a wife and mother
to two teenage boys, Tracy is a ministry assistant at Oakwood, serves on the
Women’s Ministry Special Events Team and works with a great group of Junior
High girls.
