Monday, October 8, 2018


The Idol of Perfectionism
By Carolyn Hulliberger

“For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth,
Visible and invisible,
Whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities;
All things have been created through him and for him.
He is before ALL things, and in him ALL things hold together”
Colossians 1:16 (NIV, emphasis added)

I recall clearly when my issue with perfectionism started. A competitive classmate, jealous that I received a better grade on a test in junior high, started the nickname “Little Miss Perfect” for me. From then on, I had to best her. But it didn’t stop with her. A battle was born inside me to craft perfection and eliminate weakness for myself and those around me. This battle took me years to recognize and even still fight today. What I’ve come to understand is that perfectionism has a voice, and it subtly says:

My ideals are more important than anyone else’s needs.
                                                               
I deserve better or more than what I have now.

If something isn’t perfect, then it’s worthless.

In actuality, my quest for flawlessness in myself and others was equal parts a thirst for control, and a fear of being out of control. I found myself a slave to the unending pursuit of continuous improvement, and a victim of my own idolatry. Perfectionism made me tired and resulted in unhealthy behavior and relationships. I was a really, really crummy friend.

It was during a study of Galatians chapter 5 that God started dealing with my battle. It became clear to me that a person pursuing the fruit of the Holy Spirit - - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control - - cannot also be violently critical of herself and those around her at the same time. A woman who believes today’s verse that God is before her and holds all things together, cannot also believe that she is the one in charge of keeping all things in her small world together. A woman who is passionate about loving God and loving others cannot do that if she is trying to fix  everyone.

Armed with a new understanding, I surrendered to the work of changing my thinking. I am, along with everyone else, a work in progress… imperfect.  And that’s okay. But I take heart in Paul’s words:

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you
      will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).



GOING DEEPER:
1.  What do you battle that keeps you from pursuing the fruit of the Holy Spirit?

FURTHER READING:

Along with caring for her family, Carolyn works as an insurance representative and serves in Oakwood Church as a Community Group leader.