Tuesday, June 11, 2019


A Lost Art?
By Susan Klein

“A friend loves at all times…”

”I’m friends with her on Facebook.” Though common to hear in today’s culture, I recently paused to ponder this all-too-familiar response to my inquiry. How often is someone we only know through social media considered to be a “friend”? If you were to view my Facebook page, you’d see that I have over 200 “friends.” That couldn’t be farther from the truth! I’ve never even met some of those people. Has social networking (with over 200 sites to choose from…not counting dating sites) caused some to redefine what a true friend is, and what it means to “practice friendship”?

Gone are the days when women friends gathered around a table to stitch a quilt together for the bride-to-be as they spent much-valued time catching up on each other’s lives. It’s no longer common practice to chat with our neighbors as we hang clothes on the line or run down the street after dinner to check on a friend. No doubt, we live in different times.

Friendship is truly an art and, like any great masterpiece, must be diligently worked at. Though times and trends may change, a true friend is still one who encourages, who sharpens, and who actively loves another without conditions. A really good friend knows how to set healthy boundaries, yet is not afraid to confront and hold accountable, always looking to the friend’s best interest. These actions cannot be accomplished by the stroke of a key or the swipe of a screen. Leaving a short birthday wish on a social network site might be fine for someone who is merely an acquaintance, but should it replace a card or phone call to someone we hold dear? Should a “how are you?” text message replace an earnest phone call to let someone know we care about them?

Social media definitely has its place. Caring Bridge and Linked In are two wonderful vehicles for sharing information with others. Even Facebook allows me to gather information and see pictures of family and friends that live far away. Many blessings can be gleaned through these technological means, but nothing can replace sharing a cup of coffee and a good long chat with a precious friend, or a listening ear and a word of advice when we are facing a tough decision. And, who would turn down a hug and an encouraging word from someone on a really bad day?  

Let’s keep the art of practicing friendship the beautiful masterpiece that it was intended to be!

GOING DEEPER:
1. Do you have any works of art that have been neglected for awhile?
2. How might you actively sharpen or encourage one of your friends?

FURTHER READING:

Susan is married to Mark, and co-leads an in-home small group. She serves as a mentor to young women, and is a member of Oakwood’s Peace Team, helping people work through conflict.