Thursday, May 11, 2017

I Didn’t Marry the Perfect Person 
By Lexi Ellis

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

I accidentally freaked out my husband a couple years ago. I was reading an article a friend had posted. Seeing the title as he walked by, Andrew said, smiling, “Nine months in and you’re reading that!”

The article was “You Never Marry the Right Person” by Timothy Keller.[1] His premise is that our culture believes in perfect soul mates - - ideal companions - - and therefore love comes naturally, without work. Keller suggests, rather, we must recognize and embrace our “messy-ness” and believe it’s a beautiful thing. It’s “painful and yet so wonderful…because it is a reflection of the Gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel is: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, and at the very same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”

My husband is an incredible man of God. He’s not perfect…I’m really  not perfect! If there’s anything we’ve learned from others, it’s this: Marriage takes work, it takes investment. And it’s one that’s incredibly worth it.

While marriage is a unique relationship, we experience the reality of “un-perfect-ness” with other relationships. My best friend, my sisters, my parents aren’t perfect. And yet, I am so grateful for those relationships because through them, there are two non-perfect parties striving to share God’s message and love like Jesus loved.

It’s the non-perfect times that draw us closer in our relationships. My sisters and I have the intimacy we do because we’ve been vulnerable with each other. Keller writes that it’s the hard times that “drive us to experience more of this transforming love of God.”

How powerful that God uses selfish, self-serving people to accomplish incredible things! How wonderful that we can approach the throne of God (because of what Christ did) and come as we are![2] How awesome God can use un-perfect us when we allow Him!

Keller writes, our “conviction and repentance move us to cling to and rest in God’s mercy and grace.” Our “un-perfect-ness” in our relationships means we desperately need our God. I’m thankful for the reminder that God uses the mess in our relationships, and uses that mess to compel us to relish in His mercy and grace.

I didn’t marry the perfect person (neither did Andrew) and I’m so glad I didn’t.

GOING DEEPER:
1. How has God used “un-perfect-ness” for His glory in your life?
2. Visit http://bible.org/illustration/god-can-use-us-all. What biblical example do you relate to?

FURTHER READING:

[1] Timothy Keller. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/27749-you-never-marry-the-right-person. It’s an excerpt from his book, The Meaning of Marriage. 
[2] A website of examples in Scripture of un-perfect people God used:http://bible.org/illustration/god-can-use-us-all


Lexi and her husband, Andrew, have an adorable dog named Calvin. Lexi teaches sixth grade Reading and Writing. She serves with Children’s Ministries and is the Fresh Start Coordinator.