Oakwood Church Fresh Start Women's Devotional Encouragement for Today Hartland Delafield

Nothing for Valentine’s Day
By Pamela Blattner

"My lover is mine, and I am his."
Song of Solomon 2:16

One particular year, my husband asked me a few weeks before Valentine’s Day what I wanted. Feeling that I had “everything,” and not really needing anything in particular, I hugged him and said, “nothing.” I told him I had all I really wanted. He was a wonderful husband and we had a beautiful new baby. We lived in a one-bedroom dwelling at the time, and had one car. Our bedroom, decorated with orange-flocked wallpaper, was under the hanging chandelier in the dining room because our son and all the baby paraphernalia had taken over. The dimmer switch proved to be great when used as a signal for a romantic evening! I felt complete as a woman.

Well, little did I know he would take my answer literally and buy me absolutely NOTHING for Valentine’s Day! I was so hurt and he really didn’t understand why. I mean, really, if he really loved me, wouldn't he want to buy me something, even if I said I wanted nothing?

A while back there was a great email that was sent around called "The Guys’ Rules." It was written from the male perspective and had a long list of rules for women to understand about men. One of the rules read, "Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!" I really learned that lesson that year! It wasn’t that he didn’t love me, or didn’t want to make me happy. He really did get me what he thought I wanted…NOTHING!

Don’t we women often mistakenly believe that if our husbands love us, they should know what we want? Love and mind-reading abilities are not synonymous. As a young married mom, I found out that it is not nearly as pleasurable to have to ask for something you want as it is to be surprised with it…but, it is a lot better to ask for something and receive it, than not to ask and be upset when it isn’t given.

No matter how long we’ve been married, we women have to teach our men about what we like, especially if we like to be surprised. Make it easy for him on Valentine’s Day and just tell him that if he ever wants to surprise you with a gift, “here is an excellent choice." In time, you may even forget that you pointed it out in the first place and you really will be surprised!

GOING DEEPER:
1. In what ways can you communicate your love for someone this Valentine’s Day?

FURTHER READING:
1 John 3:18, 4:12, 4:19

Pam and her husband Richard have two adult children and two grandchildren. She serves Oakwood through its Family Care Ministries.