Friday, October 9, 2015

Yup...Still Hard
By Lexi Ellis

The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me?”

Recently, I came across a devo I wrote four years ago. I wrote it after God clearly closed a door for a friend and we were in the midst of waiting for a “window,” for Him to reveal His plan. I wrestled with a reality that sometimes we simply don’t “get” what God is doing. The timing doesn’t make sense, the answer isn’t clear, the unknown is scary. I concluded we know He will reveal a window in His timing and our job is to trust.

As I read the words I wrote, I realized something: trusting God in the midst of an unknown hasn’t become any easier. It’s not something I’ve mastered. It’s not something I think I’m better at now compared to then. While the specifics of the circumstances are different, there’s still really hard stuff that I or those I love go through. So two years later, I see this devo I once wrote on trust and I’m left thinking I’m not so great at that trust part. My response is, “Yup…still hard.”

I think that’s the point though. Trust is something that’s never supposed to be mastered or ever “checked off the list.” If it is, it’s a compliant relationship. In our wedding vows, my husband and I promised to continually work on our marriage. Why would I then ever expect there would be less work and investing that’s needed in my relationship with God? In the same way, I pray my husband and I never “check our marriage off the list” as something that doesn’t need active investment; my relationship with God should never include hoping that I have this trust and dependence thing figured out.

Trust is still hard…I don’t see it ever becoming “easy.” Despite knowing that it will still be hard, the reality is we are not alone. In a world of scary unknown - - though the specifics and circumstances differ from time to time - - there is a greater reality that His faithfulness is great! Fully trusting on God? Yup…still hard. And I think it’s a good thing it is.

GOING DEEPER:
1.  Take time to reflect: what’s your “trust level”?
2.  What do you need to do to continually be trusting in His faithfulness despite a hard circumstance? 

FURTHER READING:

Lexi and her husband, Andrew, have an adorable puppy named Calvin. She teaches sixth grade at Silver Lake Intermediate School. Lexi serves with Children’s Ministries and is the Fresh Start Coordinator.