The Lord, my Strength
By
Peggy Kleckner
“The
LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
Psalm
28:7a (NIV)
Two years ago, I was
invited to a birthday party. That sounds fun, even as an adult, doesn’t
it? Especially when it is for a dear friend who loves you, and you know
quite a few of the others who are invited. So why, on the day of the party, was
I feeling fear and anxiousness?
I had to ask myself
that question and let God answer it. He and I have been walking together for
some time now, and the review of my journey brought some revelation. Years ago,
a party meant drinking. While in that phase, I hid behind alcohol. No one
had to see the real me. Drinking gave me something to do at the party,
and whatever behavior someone didn’t like, I could blame on the alcohol.
Thankfully, I lived through that phase of my life, surely by His grace. I have
also hidden behind words. That may sound odd to you, but think about it for a
few minutes: Don’t you know people who talk incessantly? I am one of
those people. God has helped me to recognize that this has been a defense. If I
just keep talking about a topic of my choosing, no one can ask me something I
don’t know or about anything I don’t really want to discuss. It also feels
safer behind a great shield of words. However, this is surely wearing on others
and leaves the talker very lonely. Lonely, because we won’t let anyone in to
find the real us.
I have even hidden
behind my husband; he seems to be better at mingling. Perhaps he is applying
some of these defenses as well, but at least two feels safer than being a one.
Unfortunately, it was hunting season and he was not available.
My final defense has
been food. At least eating gives you something to do, something to focus on.
God has been dealing with this habit, as well. Spending the night on a nonstop
munch was not a choice that God would approve of.
Suffice it to say, this
was a test. Not a test for me to pass or fail, but one where God could show me
just how far He has brought me. The people were gracious, the evening was
delightful, and I accepted His strength in place of my former addictive
behaviors. May His name be praised.
“My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to Him in song.” Psalm 29:7b (NIV)
GOING DEEPER:
1. What
situations make you anxious?
2. Are you
willing to trust God to lead you into new healthy behaviors?
FURTHER READING:
Peggy
is a wife and mother of four adult children - - two sons and two stepsons, and
is an active encourager at Oakwood Church in Delafield.
