Reconciliation
and Redemption-The Letter
By Jeannine Sawall
“For my thoughts are
not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the
heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my
thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah
55:9 (NIV)
It
had started out as an ordinary day. My husband and children were gone, and so I
had a small window of time to be alone. As I pieced through the mail, there was
a letter addressed to me. So preoccupied with what should be for dinner, I
didn’t really look at the sender’s name. I opened up the letter and began to
read:
“Dear Jeannine,
You should probably
sit down as you read this…”
Oh
great! My first thought was it was one of those “send a dollar to the first
name on this list and in six months you’ll be a millionaire” letters. I read on:
“I want you to know
I have never stopped thinking of you. This is Larry and I am your_____________.”
I
stopped reading as my heart began to pound. This letter was from my biological
father with whom I had had almost no contact during my life. The letter said he
had always wanted to have a relationship with me, but things in his life had
made it difficult. As the years went on, he felt he had lost the right to even
ask for one. He wanted to meet me and then let me decide how I’d like to
proceed, if at all, with a relationship.
I
started to cry. I had no idea hearing from him would cause such strong emotions
within me. Why now? Why not before? I
was challenged to be available to God to work in me and through me. As I
considered what God might be orchestrating, I also had fears, “What if he
doesn’t like me?” “What if I don’t like him?” But there was one fear that
stopped me in my tracks. “Lord, if you
are sending Larry now because you are planning on taking my mom, then I DON’T
want him.” I wasn’t sure what the Lord was doing and I wasn’t sure I was ready
to go where He was leading. But I also knew His ways are not my ways and so I knew
I had to trust Him.
This
letter was unexpected but I now had a choice with how I would respond, and if I
would trust God’s leading. Tomorrow, we’ll see the next part of this incredible
story where God chose to teach me about reconciliation and redemption.
GOING
DEEPER:
1.
When something out of the ordinary happens, how do you recognize God’s hand in
it?
2.
What do you do when fear makes you question the path God is taking you down?
FURTHER
READING:
Jeannine is a wife
and busy mother of four boys. She works in property management, serves in Café and
actively walks along those experiencing grief.
