The Anti-Proverbs 21:9 Girl
By
Carolyn Hulliberger
“A
good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.”
Proverbs
31:10 (The Message)
Ever read all of
Proverbs 31? The woman described by King Solomon exhausts me just reading about
her. I concur with the theologically sound opinion that she is likely fictional,
because she’s just too perfect!
However, I recently
read a blog on how important it is to NOT be the Proverbs 21:9 Woman. I didn’t
know that verse offhand, and I have to say that this one nailed my heart
attitude because the woman in this proverb is like ME some days. Here’s
what this little treasure says in Scripture:
“Better to live alone
in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse.”
(Proverbs
21:9, The Message)
Perhaps you are
chuckling, imagining Solomon in a fall-out with one of his 700 wives (1 Kings
11:3). I’m guessing he was working off of vast experience because he repeats
the exact same thought AGAIN in Proverbs 25:24!
Here’s the point:
There’s nothing wrong with contemplating the woman portrayed in Proverbs 31.
She is faithful, generous, wise, compassionate. But a little time spent on how
to NOT be the Proverbs 21:9 Woman is valuable as well. Think on this a moment:
- Are the words your loved ones most recently heard argumentative or nagging?
- If someone overheard a typical conversation in your home, would it be an example of which you could be proud, or at least not ashamed?
- Are we encouraging the younger ladies in our lives to not be “mean girls” with their friends and classmates, so that they don’t grow up to be “mean wives” and “mean moms”? (You know they’re out there…I’ve met them, too!)
So what are we to do?
We replace our Proverbs 21:9 attitude with Ephesians
4:29 (NIV). It says: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of
your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their
needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” That sounds like a much better
plan!
GOING DEEPER:
1. Think of times
when you struggle with harsh words. What patterns or triggers need to be
removed or identified?
2. Make yourself
accountable! The buddy system is great in holding each other accountable
in the area of insensitive speech. If a buddy isn’t available, try a personal
“fine.” Every time you find yourself crossing the line with your words, put a
dollar in a jar. Send the dollars to your favorite charity.
FURTHER READING:
Along
with caring for her husband and two children, Carolyn works as an insurance
representative, serves in Oakwood
Church’s Student
Ministries with an awesome group of junior high girls, and is the treasurer for
Women’s Ministries.
