Loving the Unlovable
By Karen D’Amore
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Matthew 5:44 NIV
By Karen D’Amore
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Matthew 5:44 NIV
Looking deep into my childhood, I have no
recollection of an endearing relationship with my grandmother. Criticism and
displeasure were the fruits of her embittered spirit, creating chasms in her
personal relationships. When my attempts to draw close were met with conflict,
I quit trying. As an adult, intolerant of her difficult spirit, I remained an
outsider. Relocating to another state served as a fitting excuse for keeping
distance…in the distant relationship.
At 98 years old, my grandmother now lives a lonely existence plagued with dementia and delusions, residing with strangers in a board and care home. I returned home to California several weeks ago to visit my parents and re-connect with old friends. A short trip, with limited visitation time, I entrusted my itinerary to the Lord. Praying He’d orchestrate my steps, I sought direction in the reunions of His choice. Shortly after landing, my father asked if I would consider visiting my grandmother. Eight years had passed since our last visit and honestly, she wasn’t on my reunion list. Remembering my yielded prayer and desiring to be obedient to God’s commands to love the unlovable…I watched Jesus revise my list!
En route to her home, I prayed that Jesus would give me His eyes, to see her as He sees her, and His heart to love her with His love. The unexpected reunion found her sitting in a corner of her room, her frail shrinking frame being consumed by a large over-stuffed chair. “Look who’s here,” my father announced. Her hollow stare reflected her inability to recognize me. Kneeling at her side I took her frail hand into mine, and whispered, “Hello, Grandmother.” A single tear trailed her shallow cheek and a smile encompassed her wrinkled face. Disarmed by the love of Jesus, the tension, criticism, and harsh words were replaced with tenderness. Flooded with emotion, the many years of pain and frustration peacefully diminished from my heart.
Difficult people are God’s instruments for shaping us into His image; catalysts through which He lovingly upsets our comfortable plans and purposefully redirects our safe and sound steps. Every relationship, difficult or easy, is delivered with God’s permission and sealed in His plan. Questioning God’s purpose for my grandmother’s prolonged life, I can now see the “unfinished business” He had for me to complete. An opportunity to extend God’s love to the unlovable healed my heart and restored a broken relationship. When God takes my grandmother to her final resting place…may she know His love and truly rest in Peace.
GOING DEEPER:
1. Is there someone in your life who is difficult to love? Ask the Lord to give you His heart and eyes for that person, and embrace the opportunity to extend God’s love.
FURTHER READING:
Romans 12:9-10; 1 John 3:18
At 98 years old, my grandmother now lives a lonely existence plagued with dementia and delusions, residing with strangers in a board and care home. I returned home to California several weeks ago to visit my parents and re-connect with old friends. A short trip, with limited visitation time, I entrusted my itinerary to the Lord. Praying He’d orchestrate my steps, I sought direction in the reunions of His choice. Shortly after landing, my father asked if I would consider visiting my grandmother. Eight years had passed since our last visit and honestly, she wasn’t on my reunion list. Remembering my yielded prayer and desiring to be obedient to God’s commands to love the unlovable…I watched Jesus revise my list!
En route to her home, I prayed that Jesus would give me His eyes, to see her as He sees her, and His heart to love her with His love. The unexpected reunion found her sitting in a corner of her room, her frail shrinking frame being consumed by a large over-stuffed chair. “Look who’s here,” my father announced. Her hollow stare reflected her inability to recognize me. Kneeling at her side I took her frail hand into mine, and whispered, “Hello, Grandmother.” A single tear trailed her shallow cheek and a smile encompassed her wrinkled face. Disarmed by the love of Jesus, the tension, criticism, and harsh words were replaced with tenderness. Flooded with emotion, the many years of pain and frustration peacefully diminished from my heart.
Difficult people are God’s instruments for shaping us into His image; catalysts through which He lovingly upsets our comfortable plans and purposefully redirects our safe and sound steps. Every relationship, difficult or easy, is delivered with God’s permission and sealed in His plan. Questioning God’s purpose for my grandmother’s prolonged life, I can now see the “unfinished business” He had for me to complete. An opportunity to extend God’s love to the unlovable healed my heart and restored a broken relationship. When God takes my grandmother to her final resting place…may she know His love and truly rest in Peace.
GOING DEEPER:
1. Is there someone in your life who is difficult to love? Ask the Lord to give you His heart and eyes for that person, and embrace the opportunity to extend God’s love.
FURTHER READING:
Romans 12:9-10; 1 John 3:18
Married
to Dan, Karen, a retired police officer, currently works as a Manicurist at
Craig Berns Salon. She’s a leader for
Oakwood’s Tuesday a.m. Bible Study and a volunteer at the Wildlife In Need
Center.
